Ten Things I Learned from My Cat

1. If you stare at someone long enough, he will eventually notice you.

2. If you don’t want to wait for someone to notice you, brush up against his leg.

3. If brushing up against his leg doesn’t work, bite his ankle.

4. Howling about your problems gets you noticed, but sometimes it’s with a shoe.

5. Sleep all day and play all night.

6. Practice being aloof; you never know when you might need it.

7. Shedding hair is better than hacking it up.

8. If you sound bad enough when you’re hacking, no one minds that you cough up a hairball.

9. Bury your poop; no one else wants to see it.

10. Playing with dead animals is not an acceptable pastime.

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